The Scoop on Breasts: A Plastic Surgeon Busts the Myths by Eisenberg Dr. Ted & Joyce Eisenberg

Author:Eisenberg, Dr. Ted & Joyce Eisenberg [Eisenberg, Dr. Ted]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Incompra Press
Published: 2013-10-05T16:00:00+00:00

EXTRA PADDING

Are You a Pear or an Apple?

The most sought-after shape in modern times is the hourglass figure, described as equal hip and bust measurements and a narrow waist. Marilyn Monroe, who measured 35-22-35, was its personification. In a 2005 study of American body types, researchers found that the ideal is rarely achieved:

•Only 8% of women had hourglass figures.

•14% were apple-shaped (top heavy).

•20% were pear-shaped (bottom heavy).

•46% were banana-shaped, minus the curve (straight).

That leaves 12 percent of women unaccounted for. Perhaps they fall somewhere else on the list of the body shapes identified by Trinny & Susannah, British fashion advisors and hosts of the BBC’s What Not to Wear TV show. Along with the shapes noted above, their list includes vase, cello, ice cream cone, lollipop, column, bowling pin, bell, goblet and brick shapes.

They Look So Fake!

The large majority of women who come to me for breast augmentation want to look proportional, but mannequin makers have apparently not gotten the memo. While the classic female mannequin has a small B cup, manufacturers are now selling “sexy/busty mannequins” and “voluptuous female mannequins” with 40DDs and Barbie doll-sized waists. Apparently, sales are through the roof. You can find these well-endowed plastic women in boutique windows from SoHo to South Beach.

Check Out Those Melons!

When the folks at IntimateGuide.com heard about a man who walked into a lingerie shop and said, “I need a bra for my girlfriend; she’s about the size of a grapefruit,” they decided to find out how size actually correlates to bra size. Here’s what they found:

Lemons and kiwis = A cup.

Apples = B cup.

Oranges = C cup.

Grapefruits = D cup.

Melons = DDD cup.

Bigger Breasts, Bigger Paycheck?

It depends on your job. For cocktail waitress Carol Ann Doda, it paved the way to riches. One of the country’s first topless dancers, Doda bared all as she danced atop a white baby grand piano at the Condor Club in San Francisco in 1964. She was hugely popular – even before a gynecologist injected silicone into her size-34 breasts. Afterward, her 44Ds were known as “the new Twin Peaks of San Francisco,” and a cartoon of her was painted on the strip club’s marquee. Doda got a bigger paycheck and a bigger workload: She danced 12 shows a night.

Covering You're A$$ets

Holly Madison, former star of The Girls Next Door and former girlfriend of Playboy magazine founder Hugh Hefner, took out a $1 million insurance policy on her breasts with Lloyd’s of London when she got the starring role in Peepshow, a topless Las Vegas revue. “They’re my primary moneymakers right now. If anything happened to my boobs, I’d be out for a few months and I’d probably be out a million dollars,” she explained.

Insuring one’s assets is not a new idea. Ben Turpin, a cross-eyed star of the silent movie era, took out a policy that would pay him if his eyes ever became uncrossed. That was in 1928. Since then, policies have been written on the rear end of a Brazilian model, the taste buds of a food critic, and the mustache of a cricket player.

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